If you are looking for clitoral or G-spot stimulation, a good starter would be a bullet vibrator like Elemi.  This is very discreet and entirely unthreatening. Or, if you are after something a little larger, a wand vibrator like Cassia is double ended and can be used internally or externally.  Designated clitoral stimulation toys such as Jasmine are becoming increasingly popular due to the clever design and use of air pressure to bring pleasure.

For penis stimulation, a male masturbator like the Bergamot is a good option to bring a vibration aspect to your solo sessions.  You could also try a vibrating cock ring if you’re looking to a new dimension to partnered sex.

For prostate stimulation, a dildo like the Tansy Beaded would be a good option for firmer stimulation or you could equally try inserting a vibrator.

It is fairly common for people to find the intensity of vibrations to take some getting used to.  Our advice would be to start by using the toy/vibrator over clothing to dial down the intensity or to use the vibrator to one side of the clitoris or G-spot.  You can also experiment with pressing the vibrator against you and then releasing it for a few seconds and then reapplying it again to avoid constant over-stimulation.  Other people find lying the vibrator beneath you so you can tilt your pelvis to apply or reduce pressure where you need can be a good way to maintain control.

While it certainly isn’t compulsory to use a toy cleaner, the reason they are popular is because they offer the convenience of a spray combined with anti-bacterial agents.  For any toys which are used both vaginally and anally, we would recommend this
option. Alternatively, you could use a gentle hand soap and carefully clean into all the “nooks and crannies”.

You can read our info on how to clean sex toys here.

Irrespective of which method you use, make sure you dry your toy before you store it.

We would say that good communication lies at the heart of any great sexual relationship.  If you are wanting to spice things up in a long-term relationship or you are embarking on a new relationship but have some old favourite toys you’d like to include, the first step is to make time to talk about it.  Rule number one, however, is NOT to have that conversation right before sex! 

We’d advise introducing the concept of toys in a positive light.  Never start from a place of “our sex life is boring”.  Instead, present it along the lines of “I was thinking it might be fun to try some sex toys.” If you get a positive response, you can then suggest shopping together to find a toy you’re both interested to try.  Or, if it’s a new relationship and you’re a long-term toy user, you can bring out some of your old favourites and let your partner see which ones appeal.

If you get a negative response, be prepared that there might be some unpacking to do which could be tied into past relationships, social norms, family norms and self-esteem.  Tread lightly and be prepared to circle back to the conversation another time if you can see you are upsetting your partner with the conversation.  

Remote controlled toys can be a fun and interactive way to use toys as a couple with one partner wearing the toy and the other taking the driver’s seat with remote in hand!  For heterosexual sex, a vibrating cock ring which is designed to stimulate the clitoris during penetrative sex is a great option to bring new sensations to both partners.

Some couples also like a pair a new toy with either a blindfold or handcuffs to enjoy a bit of power play.

This can be really common for perimenopausal and menopausal women.  It can also be an issue for breast-feeding mothers when estrogen levels drop due to milk production.  Either way, it can be a major passion killer!  Check out our blog post on
navigating peri and post menopausal sex for a range of tips but, briefly we
would advise: Use a really good lube, experiment with non-penetrative sexual
connection and engage with a health professional who may recommend an estrogen
cream to use in the vagina (sadly this isn’t an option for breast-feeding
women).

You can try a masturbator toy like the vibrating Bergamot for solo sessions and for men in heterosexual relationships, we’d recommend you look at vibrating cock rings.  They not only vibrate for additional stimulation for both parties (helping the woman
achieve a clitoral orgasm during sex) but by restricting blood flow, they can
prolong erection strength and duration and provide more powerful orgasms as a result.

Toys that stimulate the prostate are also an option to pair alongside penile stimulation.  However, you need to ensure the dildo, vibrator or vibrating butt plug being used has a hand-hold of some kind for easy removal – do NOT use a small bullet vibrator for this purpose or it could get stuck!